I Want to be a Bear!

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If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

   Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

   If you’re a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

   If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.

   If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

   If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

   Yup . . . I want to be a bear!